Jonathan

JonathanJonathan – The Lazy Asshole… err, Engineer

I could go into detail of who I am and try to make readers understand where I’m coming from (I mean honestly, are there even a handful of you?), but to be honest that takes effort. And as my little tagline claims, for the most part I am pretty lazy and before people get to know me I might come off as an asshole; holding my tongue is not one of my strong suits unfortunately. I’ll probably keep my reviews/writing/posts short and concise-ish, unless I truly feel the need to do a greater analysis of a piece of writing, video game, or other form of entertainment, though don’t get your hopes up (if you had hopes to begin with that is).

However, I suppose I should give you few daring readers a very general understanding of who I am. I’m an Engineering student, I love moderate levels of socializing, moderately large quantities of alcohol, video games, anime, manga, and of course [REDACTED]. I’ll let you guess that last one for yourself dear reader.

I’m little different compared to The Blonde and The Brunette in the sense that I love reading, but don’t do very much of it (despite the name of the website and what-not). My passion lies with video games and anime: the two facets of my life that suck away my free time and disposable income at every conceivable opportunity. Outside sleeping of course, that sucks away most of my free time; I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a good night’s rest?

If you’re interested in anime feel free to check out my Hummingbird Account, though be warned that over several years my tastes have changed but many of the ratings haven’t… And truth be told I’m not that harsh on ratings to begin with. Take what you see with a grain of salt (and a shot of tequila), and if you have any specific inquires send me a message on Hummingbird or something. If for whatever reason you want to game with me hit me up on Steam and I might try to get something going, if I feel like it that is.

So that’s me; read it or don’t. Honestly I couldn’t care less.

TL;DR: It’s pretty fucking short, if you couldn’t be bothered to read it why did you click on the damn link?

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Dark Souls – Prepare to Die Edition

dark soulsEnglish:  Dark Souls – Prepare to Die Edi-ion
Genres:  Action, Role-Playing (to a point), Dungeon Crawler
Platforms:  Xbox 360, Playstation 3, Microsoft Windows
Released:  October 4th, 2011 (Xbox, PS3), August 24th, 2012 (PC)
Steam

FROM THE MAKERS OF DEMON’S SOULS

PREPARE TO DIE

TENSE DUNGEON CRAWLING, FEARSOME ENEMY ENCOUNTERS & GROUNDBREAKING ONLINE FEATURES

INCREDIBLE CHALLENGE PROVIDES AN ABSOLUTE FOUNDATION OF ACHIEVEMENT AND REWARD


JONATHAN’S REVIEW

Rating:  5+ / 5
Started:  October 4th, 2011
Finished:  Sometime in 2012
Booze Pairing: 190-Proof Everclear, because you weren’t getting fucked enough already

For the Dark Souls virgin’s out there who are interested in trying this masterpiece but aren’t quite sure if it’s for them or not, the easiest question I should ask you is this: Are you a masochist and do you enjoy relentless pain? Because if you’re not then you should go back to just about any other game holds your hand every step of the way until you have you can walk on your own two feet in the game world.

Dark Souls is not the nice father that takes you on a cushy trip to Disney World then lets you enjoy the freedoms of adolescence. Dark Souls is the drunken father that leaves you alone and abandoned in the northern wilderness after wandering off somewhere in search of booze, leaving you to fend for yourself in an unfamiliar world that’s as inhospitable as the gas chambers in Auschwitz.

If you haven’t guessed it by now then you should know you will die, repeatedly, and without discrimination. Death isn’t a just a feature in Dark Souls, it’s a brutal inevitability; and although you’ll scream at your monitor for one reason or another, eventually you discover that most deaths are based on player mistakes instead of the ‘artificial difficulty‘ that many people initially criticize the game over. If you dislike the idea of trial and error, teeth-grinding difficulty till you gain a very solid understanding of how game mechanics work (because you’ll be punished if you don’t), then you’ll probably hate Dark Souls and ultimately yourself for spending money on it. To make matters worse the currency and experience points are linked into a single item known as souls (as the title might imply and what the series is more or less famous for). The best part about this neat little feature is that when you die you drop all your souls near your place of death and you have to retrieve them. “No worries” you might be thinking, “I just have to get over there and click on my bloodstain, easy peasy”… However, should you die – for whatever reason – while en-route then all your souls that were previously lost will be permanently erased as your bloodstain is overwritten. This exasperating feature adds a new layer of frustration to a game that is already infuriating to many a new player. But for those players who persevere and eventually ‘break through the wall’ will find a game that’s truly beautiful, enjoyable, and extremely replayable, should you not experience enough pain the first time around.

I’m not the greatest at writing reviews, so the only reason I know where to go from here is because I loved Yahtzee’s review of Dark Souls and will probably take a few ques from it. As you travel through this immensely large and interconnected world you experience an atmosphere that is unique compared to many games at its time of release. The fact that any sky-box you see is completely explorable is another amazing feature that many modern games seem to ignore in favor of crisp pre-rendered battle sequences and more lens flares than you can shake a stick at. The per-level stat investments aren’t unique, nor is the fact that stats cannot be re-rolled on that specific character, but unlike other games stats are very important, especially if you’re trying to min/max a character for PvP purposes where you’re trying to stay within the meta level range for optimal number of matches. Personally I played through the game several times using various trial-and-error builds until I found one that I enjoyed and ultimately beat the game with (this was before the inception of MugenMonkey, which is insanely useful even for first time players and min/maxers alike). Don’t be afraid to re-roll a character, it may take some time to find a build you enjoy and can use to it’s full potential but the more time you put into the game, the more rewarding it is once you can leap over an obstacle that stumped you for days and move onto the next one that might be worse than the last.

If you’re ever curious about the game, looking for someone to play with, or looking for suggestions on a custom build then head on over to /r/darksouls on reddit, the community is still fairly active and for the most part they’re a pretty friendly bunch.

 

One Punch Man

one punch manEnglish:  One Punch Man
Japanese: 
 One Punch Man
Genres:
  Action, Comedy, Parody, Sci-Fi, Super Power, Supernatural
Episodes:  12
Aired:  October, 2015 to December, 2015
Hummingbird | My Anime List

“In this new action-comedy, everything about a young man named Saitama screams “AVERAGE,” from his lifeless expression, to his bald head, to his unimpressive physique. However, this average-looking fellow doesn’t have your average problem… He’s actually a superhero that’s looking for tough opponents! The problem is, every time he finds a promising candidate he beats the snot out of them in one punch. Can Saitama finally find an evil villain strong enough to challenge him? Follow Saitama through his hilarious romps as he searches for new bad guys to challenge!”


JONATHAN’S REVIEW

Rating:  5+ / 5
Language: Japanese with English Subtitles
Started:  October 4th, 2015
Finished:  December 20th, 2015
Booze Pairing: Miller Genuine Draft

Have you ever wanted to watch a show about insanely-overpowered, hyper-generic, anime Superman that destroys everything in his path with a single punch? If the thought never crossed your mind you probably never would have wanted it. Personally I didn’t know I wanted One Punch Man until I started it, then I couldn’t get enough; to me it was the anime equivalent of heroine.

This show is a HUGE parody on shounen battle anime in general, from the cities, to the Main Character’s name, and even the Antagonist’s designs, the aura of satirical creativity is endless in this anime. The entire gag of the show is that Saitama doesn’t operate within set ‘power levels’ that many anime establish, and he can apparently warp and bend the laws of physics and logic around him at will because regardless of how strong his opponent is he will always win; as far as the show itself is concerned he’s unbeatable for the sake of comedy, which I have no personal complaints against. Getting back to the show itself, One Punch Man is just so much fucking fun to watch, both sober and at all levels of inebriation; the animation style is gorgeous (MADHOUSE has put out some seriously beautiful anime these last few years), the jokes are perfectly timed and don’t seem forced, and the show constantly pokes fun of many shounen troupes while still maintaining a semi-serious, badass undertone that just made the anime for me. The ‘overarching’ plot doesn’t develop until a several episodes in, but it’s there nonetheless and the show isn’t purely episodic as it might first appear to be.

You’ll know whether or not this anime is for you from the first few episodes, but I will say this: Two of my roommates back at my university residence more or less despised anime in general, and yet they both fell in love with One Punch Man. If that doesn’t speak volumes as to the audience One Punch Man can reach then I don’t know what will. I just hope you enjoy it half as much as I did.